Month One is a Bust....

So, my intuition about getting pregnant in month one is a bust. Maybe it was just my incredible desire to have a baby that got the best of me. We'll just keep trying I guess. We have a vacation planned to Texas in August. It's a family vacation, so we might be waiting until month 3:)

In other, more exciting news we did the walk through on our house last Friday. Josh was sick, but he made it through without vomiting. We signed all of the papers, so now we're just waiting to get the keys later this week. This house has been our dreams turned reality. We have wanted a house since before we were married. Josh has lived in the same little house since he was born, then we lived in an apartment after we got married up until now. Sometimes, I can't believe that God sees us as worthy of all this blessing. He is so good and is so much better to Josh and I than we deserve. I've had to place all my worries, frustrations, and desires in His hands and although I take them back and hold them for myself sometimes; He is always there to take them back when I'm ready. Everyday and sometimes more than once a day I have to give God everything. It is a daily, sometimes hourly, struggle:)

We have some great friends who are moving to Portland in a few months and Josh and I have thought and prayed about going with them. I would love a change of scenery, and to be away from our family. Please don't get me wrong. I love our families dearly, but until you have children no one considers us a family of our own. It would be nice to establish traditions of our own, but I know I would miss my parents dearly if we were away from them. I have told Josh, that if he says we go, then we go. It does seem a bit ironic that we've become such good friends with people who are moving. I wonder if that is a sign:) I'll do what he thinks is best for us. He is the spiritual leader of our home and I trust that God speaks to him; I pray he does. So, we'll see what the future holds for us, especially since we're just moving into our house. I'll have pictures up soon.

Exciting News!!!

Josh and I are buying a house!! This will be our first house ever and we are so very excited. We signed the paperwork yesterday and hopefully the house will be ready in August. We've been looking for a house since before we got married and I guess it just wasn't the right time for us until now. I'm so glad that God's timing is perfect, even when I question it. Everything just kinda fell into place for us to get this house, we really didn't have to put forth much effort other than signing hundreds of papers:) I really feel like this is a new chapter in our lives and I'm so looking forward to it. Hopefully there will be a baby next......

On another note, I don't know if there are any of you girls out there with MIL issues. Mainly IL issues. My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years and I still don't think they like me. I keep praying that God will help me to love them like He loves them, but it's just not happening. Josh's dad's birthday is this weekend and since everyone has stuff going on, the only day we could all get together is Thursday and that is the day that I have worship team practice at church. While I don't want them to rearrange their plans just for me, it would be nice for his mom to say that she really wants me to be there. Part of me thinks that she just wants her boys back under her wing and no daughters-in laws allowed. I really struggle with this. Josh says that his mom loves me, but she never calls me and I kinda want her to be the one to open up to me. I've called her a few times, but I never really have much to talk about. When she talks to Josh, it's like he's her baby and I'm just in the background. We're talking about trying to get pregnant soon and I can't imagine what things are going to be like then. I guess I'm partly to blame for this whole thing. I just don't feel like I belong in his family and I love my family very much and have a great relationship with my mom. Josh's brother, Tim, has a girlfriend that he lives with who seems to have a really good relationship with my MIL and I'm sort of jealous. His girlfriend has family issues and so she vents to my MIL her problems and I just don't need to do that or care to do it. I'm taking my MIL for pedicures this weekend so I'll let you know how that goes. Anyone out there like this??? Am I crazy???

Frustrated!