I just want to say how good God is. Josh and I have been living in our house for a little over a week now. We had some wonderful friends and family help us paint and get all moved in. We have a longer commute, but that just gives me time to listen to Pastor Brad's messages that I've missed. Our church is further away now, but after this Sunday I know that it is totally worth the drive. The worship is amazing and I've missed it these past few weeks. I mostly enjoy my job, but I can't wait to be a stay-at-home-mom and I know God will provide so that can happen. Just when the bills started rolling in, we were truly truly blessed by my amazing parents. We have so many wonderful people in our lives and they are all such a blessing to us. I know God has blessed us with the wonderful people in our lives and had He not blessed them, they would not be able to bless us. A new house is such an exciting and daunting thing. I have to keep telling myself to "be anxious for nothing". I literally say it out loud sometimes. I even ask God, "how am I not supposed to be anxious or worried about owning a house"? It's a struggle, everyday!
I've always said that God is good, but now I'm truly experiencing his goodness and blessing. Not that I wasn't before, I just think now I can appreciate it so much more. I find that I am so much more appreciate of my family now that I'm older. I wish we lived closer to my family in Texas, but then we'd live far away from our family here. My grandpa has this scripture memorization program that I think all of the grandchildren have started. I've never finished it, but after visiting them a few weeks ago I've started up again. I've got the first three down and I'm working on the next three. I want the Word of God to be in my heart more now than it has been.
I'm focusing on my prayer life more now. I started reading a book on prayer by Joyce Meyer and so far it is great! I'm praying that the Lord would teach me how to pray they way He wants me to. I want a heart like His and I want to ask and believe for GREAT things!!
We're still working on the baby thing. I figure it will happen in God's timing. He has placed the desire for children in my heart and I know he wouldn't give me that desire unless he was going to provide the way also.
I'm having kind of a rough day at work, so I thought I should take a minute and think/write about how good God is to pep me up. I prayed this morning that He would help me to be different from everyone else at work and He has already started on that:) I guess how I handle stress is the best example of Christ in me, huh?
Monday, August 24, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
We're Homeowners......
Okay, so we just got the keys to our house yesterday. My husband took the day off, so he could do some work and when I got off work I started taping off the trim so we could do some painting. I know that I should be excited about having our very own house, but I'm not. I feel incredibly blessed to have our own house, but there are so many other emotions I'm feeling. I'm anxious about making the mortgage payment, all the extra bills we'll have, all the stuff we have to buy for the house, and the list goes on. I know God has blessed us with this house, at this time for a reason. He has more than provided for us, I have no reason to be concerned or worried. I feel like just when I get to a point of complete trust in God, he stretches/pushes me for more. It's like He is saying, I don't want you to get too comfortable so I'm going to push you a little more. I don't want to be pushed, I like things just the way they are. The problem is that I keep praying for the Lord to increase my faith in Him. I want to know that no matter what, I will trust Him and lean on His promises. I used to look around our little 800 sq. ft. apartment and think we were so blessed, now we have a house and I can see even more blessing. God is so good, better than I know or deserve. Just 4 years ago, I didn't even know Josh, I was living at home, not really sure of where my life was going. I have come so far in such a relatively small amount of time. I'm so excited to see where the next 4 years takes us.
After writing this, I'm feeling more excited about the house. I think I just needed to put my feelings on paper (so to speak). Just putting it out there has made me feel better.
After writing this, I'm feeling more excited about the house. I think I just needed to put my feelings on paper (so to speak). Just putting it out there has made me feel better.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Month One is a Bust....
So, my intuition about getting pregnant in month one is a bust. Maybe it was just my incredible desire to have a baby that got the best of me. We'll just keep trying I guess. We have a vacation planned to Texas in August. It's a family vacation, so we might be waiting until month 3:)
In other, more exciting news we did the walk through on our house last Friday. Josh was sick, but he made it through without vomiting. We signed all of the papers, so now we're just waiting to get the keys later this week. This house has been our dreams turned reality. We have wanted a house since before we were married. Josh has lived in the same little house since he was born, then we lived in an apartment after we got married up until now. Sometimes, I can't believe that God sees us as worthy of all this blessing. He is so good and is so much better to Josh and I than we deserve. I've had to place all my worries, frustrations, and desires in His hands and although I take them back and hold them for myself sometimes; He is always there to take them back when I'm ready. Everyday and sometimes more than once a day I have to give God everything. It is a daily, sometimes hourly, struggle:)
We have some great friends who are moving to Portland in a few months and Josh and I have thought and prayed about going with them. I would love a change of scenery, and to be away from our family. Please don't get me wrong. I love our families dearly, but until you have children no one considers us a family of our own. It would be nice to establish traditions of our own, but I know I would miss my parents dearly if we were away from them. I have told Josh, that if he says we go, then we go. It does seem a bit ironic that we've become such good friends with people who are moving. I wonder if that is a sign:) I'll do what he thinks is best for us. He is the spiritual leader of our home and I trust that God speaks to him; I pray he does. So, we'll see what the future holds for us, especially since we're just moving into our house. I'll have pictures up soon.
In other, more exciting news we did the walk through on our house last Friday. Josh was sick, but he made it through without vomiting. We signed all of the papers, so now we're just waiting to get the keys later this week. This house has been our dreams turned reality. We have wanted a house since before we were married. Josh has lived in the same little house since he was born, then we lived in an apartment after we got married up until now. Sometimes, I can't believe that God sees us as worthy of all this blessing. He is so good and is so much better to Josh and I than we deserve. I've had to place all my worries, frustrations, and desires in His hands and although I take them back and hold them for myself sometimes; He is always there to take them back when I'm ready. Everyday and sometimes more than once a day I have to give God everything. It is a daily, sometimes hourly, struggle:)
We have some great friends who are moving to Portland in a few months and Josh and I have thought and prayed about going with them. I would love a change of scenery, and to be away from our family. Please don't get me wrong. I love our families dearly, but until you have children no one considers us a family of our own. It would be nice to establish traditions of our own, but I know I would miss my parents dearly if we were away from them. I have told Josh, that if he says we go, then we go. It does seem a bit ironic that we've become such good friends with people who are moving. I wonder if that is a sign:) I'll do what he thinks is best for us. He is the spiritual leader of our home and I trust that God speaks to him; I pray he does. So, we'll see what the future holds for us, especially since we're just moving into our house. I'll have pictures up soon.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Baby Making:)
Well, this is my first month not on birth control for about 4 years. I was kinda worried that I might be different somehow. My husband has only know me on these make me crazy pills. Lately I had been feeling like I was completely out of control with my emotions. Josh could say just about anything and I would find a reason to cry or have my feelings hurt in some way. I really was out of control. I had been praying that God would help me to have self control (a fruit of the spirit, so I should have it) so I could put my emotions in check. I would have a day or two where, if I really concentrated, my emotions would be under my control but then I would slide back down again to complete crazy. I know being emotional is a woman thing, but this was out of hand. I was also feeling like it was time to have a baby, so it all worked out for me to not be on these pills. I know some women can be on these pills for years and have no problems, but it just wasn't working for me.
I went to the doctor and got the all clear for baby making! Josh is a bit apprehensive and he says he doesn't want us to TRY to have a baby, just to let it happen when it happens. While I know that all of this is entirely in God's hands, how am I supposed to not TRY? We'll see. I definitely feel so much better, not being on the pill. I feel like if I'm upset about something, I could choose not to cry. I am feeling pretty tired, but I'm not sure if that has anything to do with the pill or not.
I've been so intrigued by my blogger friends with infertility woes. Everything about it is so interesting to me. I pray that I don't have to go through that, but I also pray that they would have strength and peace to make it through this difficult time. I really felt like I would get pregnant the first month off the pill and while that can still happen, I'm beginning to doubt that. I know God will bless us with a little one at the perfect time, but I pray it is soon. I'm hoping Josh will have a change of heart and actually want us to TRY and have a baby. I know it's more fun to not try really. I guess I'll find out next week if my first month feeling was right or not.
I went to the doctor and got the all clear for baby making! Josh is a bit apprehensive and he says he doesn't want us to TRY to have a baby, just to let it happen when it happens. While I know that all of this is entirely in God's hands, how am I supposed to not TRY? We'll see. I definitely feel so much better, not being on the pill. I feel like if I'm upset about something, I could choose not to cry. I am feeling pretty tired, but I'm not sure if that has anything to do with the pill or not.
I've been so intrigued by my blogger friends with infertility woes. Everything about it is so interesting to me. I pray that I don't have to go through that, but I also pray that they would have strength and peace to make it through this difficult time. I really felt like I would get pregnant the first month off the pill and while that can still happen, I'm beginning to doubt that. I know God will bless us with a little one at the perfect time, but I pray it is soon. I'm hoping Josh will have a change of heart and actually want us to TRY and have a baby. I know it's more fun to not try really. I guess I'll find out next week if my first month feeling was right or not.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
We've made it 3 years!!
So yesterday was my 3rd wedding anniversary with Josh. We had a wonderful evening. I had been thinking (because Josh led me to) that we were just going to a nice restaurant and Josh forgot to make reservations at the Melting Pot. I really wanted to go to the Melting Pot, because I had heard such great things about it. He wouldn't tell me where we were going as we were driving. I had never been to the Melting Pot so I didn't even know where it was really. I was so very excited when we drove up and I saw the sign! There were flowers at our table and a sweet anniversary card. We had a great dinner, although we were there 3 hours. The food was delicious, especially the chocolate:) I'll have to put some pictures up on here, as soon as I figure out how:)
Looking back on our 3 years, I realize that I've come to love Josh more and more. I love him more than when we got married. I've come to see what an amazing man he is, and I can see that he's going to be a great father someday. Now that we are starting year 4 of our marriage, it's exciting to see where we'll be. We lived in 3 apartments so far, and now we're purchasing a house. We've purchased 2 cars. God has just blessed us in every aspect of our lives. Just when I think that things are totally messed up and going down hill, He helps me to see that He is in control. It's kind of a hard lesson to learn, but a necessary one. I'm so excited to see what is in store for us in the future.
Looking back on our 3 years, I realize that I've come to love Josh more and more. I love him more than when we got married. I've come to see what an amazing man he is, and I can see that he's going to be a great father someday. Now that we are starting year 4 of our marriage, it's exciting to see where we'll be. We lived in 3 apartments so far, and now we're purchasing a house. We've purchased 2 cars. God has just blessed us in every aspect of our lives. Just when I think that things are totally messed up and going down hill, He helps me to see that He is in control. It's kind of a hard lesson to learn, but a necessary one. I'm so excited to see what is in store for us in the future.
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